We will be posting some articles from our archives under this new thread. These are advice and thoughts from various Gursikhs on Gurmat. This thread will eventually be a sticky so if you have any comments on these articles please start another thread.

Below is the first of these posts and it talks about probably the most important part of a GurSikh’s life and day.




Waking up for Amrit Vela
By G. Udham Singh in Gurmat Sidhaant Saagar
Translated by Admin www.tapoban.org



1. That Sikh who remembers Vahiguru at Amrit Vela will achieve liberation.


2. Ishnan, nitnem and simran/abhyaas at amrit vela can transform the individual


3. Only that person can wake up for amrit vela who forsakes laziness and remembers death.


4. It is just as essential for every Gursikh to wake up in the last quarter of the night, amrit vela, as it is to do simran.


5. That person that remains asleep at amrit vela goes without the blessings and grace of Vahiguru


6. The best way of waking up for amrit vela is to eat little at night and to go to sleep on time.


7. It is at amrit vela that currents of Vahiguru's blessings are flowing but those who remain asleep at this time cannot enjoy them


8. Until the stars disappear, it is the fourth quarter of the night, amrit vela,
which is considered the most conducive time to meditate and worship Vahiguru.


9. That person that longs to wake up at amrit vela will be woken up on
time by some secret power.


10. After doing Sohila Sahib, and before going to sleep, doing ardaas for the ability to wake up at amrit vela is very beneficial.


11. That Gursikh who is thirsting for naam and baaNee will find that this thirst will be like the alarm which wakes him/her up.


12. Even cows, birds and roosters wake up at amrit vela. If a Sikh does not, it is his own bad karma.


13. It is a natural phenomenon that at amrit vela, even flowers blossom and spread their scent more than at any other time.


14. That person who wants to meditate on Vahiguru must make it a daily habit to wake up at amrit vela.


15. It is not enough to just wake up at amrit vela, ishnaan and simran are also essential.


16. Those individuals who spend their nights lost in vices and evil and then sleep through amrit vela are destroying their own lives.


17. The way in which our minds can be attached to simran and baaNee at amrit vela is not possible at any other time.


18. All great saints, rishis, munis, bhagats and Gursikhs all have woken up at amrit vela.


19. That person's life is fruitful and worthwhile who wakes up every day at amrit vela and remembers Vahiguru.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/19/2010 02:30PM by admin.

Gurmat Gems on Slander & Hatred
By G. Udham Singh in Gurmat Sidhant Saagar
Translated by Admin www.tapoban.org



• Slander reduces the individual's own respect and kills feelings of brotherhood.

• Unjustly slandering someone is such a serious and massive offence that there can be no recourse for it

• In the world, any patient suffering from a disease can be treated, but there is no treatment from a slanderer

• Spreading information about someone's good or bad qualities without investigating for one's self is idiocy.

• That person that slanders the Guru's beloveds has his face blackened in this world and the next

• If you see a person with a fault, rather than slandering him before others, it is much better to educate him.

• To slander others to hide one's own faults is a very lowly and disgusting sin.

• To see and dwell on someone's faults is very easy, but to see faults and understand them is very diffcult.

• Almost everyone at some time does ninda, but to slander someone innocent or to do so with evil intent is a
• maha-paap.

• There are four types of ninda which are not sinful: that of a fake, that of someone opposed to the Guru, that of the ruler and one's own ninda.

• Someone who unjustly slanders and opposes others will never see happiness or peace.

• Just like a dog's tail can never be straightened, a nindak too will never leave his habit.

• If you give milk to a snake, it still strikes and spews venom. In the same way, if you do good to a nindak, he will still do bad to you.

• It is not wrong to join the ninda of those who are opposed to the Panth

• There is no person in existence who has not been slandered or wronged in some way.

• Only a true Soorbeer (warrior) can hear his own slander and remain uneffected

• To forget someone's good qualities and to look only at the bad is to be even worse than the ant who sorts through the dirt to find the sand.

• The mighty and wealthy may be able to crush the poor and meek, but they cannot crush Vahiguru's justice.

• The Jealous and hateful receive this punishment that their minds are never at peace.

• To cure the diseases of both the mind and body, the greatest medicine is to remain free of hatred and always remember Vahiguru

• Do not reply to the evil with evil. If you throw a rock at filth, it will only end up splattering on you.

• If the individual remains calm and peaceful after hearing hateful words, then the effect will reverse on to the
hateful individuals who spoke them.

• Having hatred towards others is the root of all bodily ills.

Quotes from Bhagat Pooran Singh on Bhagtee



• If you make your morning, you've made your day. Don't be irritated by trivial matters. Make sure you take time in the morning for silent, solitary reflection.



• Daily have a talk with God. He is a true friend and "It is so natural to discuss with a friend your ambitions and aspirations, your plans and programmes, your failures and frustrations and ask him to help you". We may not be able to at first see him or hear him, but be certain that he does see and hear you.

We will meet God only when he is sure that "you truly need Him and nothing besides."



• Prayer is not easy: "A holy man driving a car, met a beggar on the way. The beggar exclaimed, "If only I too became a holy man, a man of prayer, I would have a car!"

"Prayer is not that easy" said the holy man. "If you say too(n) thaakur tum pai ardaas... with a concentated mind, the car (and much more) can belong to you"

"Wonderful!" Said the astonished beggar. Joining his hands and closing his eyes he said the prayer aloud, "Too(n) thakur tum pai ardaas. Jeeo pind sabhi teree raas..."

Suddenly in mid prayer, his eyes opened up and he asked, "Shall I have a garage along with car? Else where would I keep it???"
Moral: concentrated prayer is not an easy task.



• Make God your life partner: He can be a partner in your daily life and all activities and miracles can happen. Rest assured that there is no problem which you and God cannot solve together and no situation you cannot handle together.



• A loving relationship is based on a feeling of being needed. Think about when you have felt closest to someone. It is quite possibly a time when you have been needed by them. Feeling needed and wanted is something that fosters love not only between humans but also with God. When God knows you need him and only him and have no other support, he will then come to you.

Respect of Sree Guru Granth Sahib Jee
By Bhai Ram Singh jee (Jathedar) in Soora, Feb. 1983 & Sikh Missionary College in Soora, Sept 1994.
Translated by Admin www.tapoban.org







There is no limit in the amount of respect we can gave the focus of our faith. Whatever we do is not enough. Those who are in love with the Guru keep the following things in mind:



1) They take their shoes off far away and after washing their feet come into the Guru Darbar

2) With respect they bow before Guru Sahib and sit in Sangat

3) They sit cross-legged while facing Guru Sahib

4) Before leaving the Sangat to go outside, they first bow.

5) Whatever offerings they have, they do not throw in front of the Guru but slowly and respectfully place it before the Guru and then bow.

6) KaRah Parshaad is brought in a Sarbloh Bata with a white cloth over it and placed on a wooden table before Guru jee off to one side. They do not Bring the kaRaahee the degh was prepared in straight before Guru Sahib.

7) The sevaadaars who prepare Degh do so while repeating naam or baaNee

8) They prepare degh with a lot of care: it is not undercooked or burnt.

9) When bhog is done, the degh is not so hot that it can't be eaten.

10) They accept the degh in two hands and then bow their heads in thanks and when eating the Degh do not let any fall to the ground at all.

11) The Singh sitting in attendance of Guru Sahib keeps doing chaur. The Chaur is not to make flies go away but it is a form of respect to the divine jot that has been passed into Guru Sahib.

12) When taking Hukam, they do not hang the rumallas in Guru Sahib's ang (pages). (Hukam is taken from the left side's first shabad)

13) When putting the rumala back over Guru jee, they make sure no ang is bent.

14) When turning an ang, they carefully take the corner of the ang and separate it from the next one and turn slowly. When using the thumb or finger to turn from the middle of the ang, chances of damage or ripping increase so this should not be done.

15) A clean white rumalaa should be kept for the sevaa of the angs. Silk and nylon are not good for this task.

16) Before sitting in attendance of Guru jee, all grime and oil should be removed with soap otherwise it will mark the rumallas and the angs.

17) One only sits in taabiyaa (attendance) of Guru Saahib after washing the hair and while wearing clean clothes with a hazooriyaa. Washing the kes is also the maryada for doing degh and langar seva.

18) There should be a big and clean chaananee over Guru Sahib jee.

19) If parkaash is to be done in a paalkee, it should be big enough that chaur can easily be done.

20) The divaan is only over when ardaas after sukhaasan takes place.

21) When bringing/taking Guru Sahib, at least 5 Singhs should accompany.

22) When bringing degh into sangat, water should not be sprinkled on the carpets.

23) In that home where Sree Akhand Paath is taking place (or even in general) and Guru Sahib is not on a Takhat Posh but on a manjee placed over a mat, no one in the house should sleep on a bed.

24) When doing Sehaj Paath, the reader should not put a paper/sheet in Guru Sahib to serve as a marker. The number of the ang should be recorded in a separate diary or notebook.

25) For Guru jee's sukhaasan, at least two clean and big rumalaas are necessary.



From Soora Sept. 1994:

1) Wherever a Gurmat Smaagam is to take place, before doing parkaash of Guru Sahib, it should be noted that the place is according to the status and glory of Guru Sahib. It is disrespectful to do parkash in Hotels, Bazaars, dirty plots and tight areas.

2) No one in the presence of Satguru jee should have a special sitting place, chair, bed, etc. This is manmat.

3) Going into sangat bare-headed or veiled for women is against Gurmat

4) If Guru Sahib is parkaash at home, the room should be clean and fresh. No unnecessary things should be put in that room. PUTTING ANY PICTURES OF HUMANS OR REPRESENTATIONS OF GURUS IN PARKAASH AREA IS MANMAT.

5) Parkaash should be done at Amrit Vela (before sunrise). This is important regardless if it's a gurdvara or home.

6) Guru Sahib's parkaash should be on a high place or a takhat posh. If these both are for whatever reasons not possible, then the manjee should be placed on a clean cloth and parkaash done.

7) Rumallas for Guru jee should be beautiful and clean, but simple [preferably white or another Khalsa colour]. Too shiny, gaudy or very thin ones or ones with Gurus' pictures should not be used. Rumalas, pillows, sheets and other necessary items should all be clean. This is extremely important. Every day or seeing the need, they should be changed. Putting thin rumalas in the summer or warm ones in the winter in light of temperature should not be done. Does Guru Sahib feel hot or cold? Guru Sahib is shabad-roop.

8) At the end of divaan, Guru Sahib should be taken to the Sukh Asan place and only then should the sangat disperse. Usually after listening to katha/keertan, we take parshaad and run away. This shouldn't be done.



One additional note: When coming into Guru Sahib's darbaar, one should dress appropriately. For both men and women, BaaNaa is most appropriate. If we wear a uniform to work or school, then why not to the highest court of all? We should have open beards and be dressed in Guru Sahib's uniform. And of course, the biggest sevaa we can do today is make sure Guru Sahib's true form, Lareedaar Saroop is parkaash in all places. But like the first article has said, there is no limit to the amount of respect we should give. No amount is ever enough.

Qualities of a Good Husband vs. Bad Husband
By G. Udham Singh in Gurmat Sidhaant Saagar
Translated by Admin www.tapoban.org



Good Husband:


-A good husband is he who is dedicated and faithful to his wife and looks at all other women as mothers sisters or daughters.


-A religious and good husband will not be unfaithful to his wife nor will he ever give her pain


-All other relations in life can be separated but the companionship of husband and wife is for the entire life.


-A wise husband will never break his wife’s heart and will forgive and overlook faults she may have.


-To share all life’s happiness and sadness with his wife and to consider her the co-owner of the house (and all things in it), as well as a chief minister, are the qualities of a good husband.



Bad Husband:


-The lowest and most sinful person is he who gives pain to his wife.


-A wife leaves all other men and attaches herself to her husband. To give her any distress is the work of a demon not a human.


-A woman usually has the ability to tolerate and persevere but she who’s husband is cruel will lose heart and her spirit will break.


-A woman can bear all pains but the pain of having a villainous, wandering and lazy husband is unbearable for her.


-To disrespect a woman is to disrespect nature. That person who humiliates a woman will face humiliation in the here and hereafter.


-A woman has respect and admiration for her husband, but she loses that admiration if her husband is villainous or a drunk.

Qualities of a Good Wife vs. A Bad Wife
By G. Udham Singh in Gurmat Sidhaant Saagar
Translated by Admin www.tapoban.org



Good Wife:


- A good wife is merciful, has faith, the desire to do seva and has a pure soul. Such a wife is the pride of the household.


- A home that has a wife with good views, will be respected by the entire society.


- A religious wife has three chief qualities: remembrance of God, trust in her husband and the desire to serve any passing guests.


- A wife who is dedicated to her husband, meditates and has a sweet tongue will have miraculous powers and her words will become true.


- A good wife will not speak rudely to her husband, and will not disrespect him in any way.


- To be happy and humble and have the desire to serve are all God-given qualities.


- A wife who is rehitvaan, lives a Sikhi-Jeevan will not wear flashy clothes.


- A woman is also the mother of all religious and divine people. If she is good, her entire family can also enshrine those qualities.



Bad Wife:


- A bad wife can become the reason for disgrace of the entire family and make her husband’s life hell.


- That person’s life loses all its happiness who’s wife is disrespectful and speaks rudely.


- A woman who is unfaithful to her husband must face not only the anger of her husband but also that of Guru and God.


- A stubborn wife with bad behavior does not even fear losing her husband and children (to fulfill her own desires).


- That person’s life becomes horrid whose wife is greedy, speaks bitterly and is of an angry nature.


- That wife who answers her husband rudely can of course not get his good wishes and blessings.


- A woman who’s interests are only in eating out, wearing fashionable clothes and to wander about cannot have a happy life and does not let her family have one either.


- A wife who is full of good qualities but could not avoid company of another man is of no value at all.

Below are some suggestions for Sikh husbands posted on the old tapoban forum by a sevadaar from Gurdwara Tapoban Sahib



41 Suggestions for Sikh Husbands


1. Respect the opinion of your wife and show you are listening and value her suggestions.

2. Don’t be moody. Your tone and attitude matter sometimes more than the words.

3. Smile. You don’t need a reason, just smile.

4. Avoid anger and avoid speaking roughly or rudely.

5. Give surprises and gifts.

6. Love is broken with harsh words and strengthened by sweet ones.

7. Pay compliments to your wife. Express your appreciation to her.

8. Break the routine every once in a while.

9. Do amrit-vela as well as nitnem or sehaj paath or some bani together everyday. Guaranteed that reading bani together will make your love stronger.

10. Help in the house.

11. Pay attention in raising the children. It is your responsibility too.

12. Don’t leave the small problems unsolved or ignored. They will grow otherwise.

13. Eat meals together.

14. Keep her informed about your plans. Consult her on major decisions(personal and family). Do not surprise her on these matters

15. Don’t walk away and leave home during arguments. Try to resolve the issue before ending the day.

16. Do not resort to silence when unhappy.

17. Don’t dwell on past mistakes or fights. Forgive and forget.

18. Never threaten divorce or separation. Never say you regret having entered the marriage.

19. Don’t admonish and criticise your wife in public. Don’t tolerate or participate in her insult (joking or otherwise) in public.

20. In front of her family and friends, show her respect and show you value her.

21. Don’t reveal your marriage’s or your wife’s secrets and private details to anyone.

22. Say Fateh to your wife when you greet her upon coming home or meeting her in general. Remember that she is also a Gursikh and deserves the respect associated with that position.

23. Walk on the path of Sikhi together. This means, seva, sangat, simran, kirtan, yatra (this last one is often neglected but is a very good exercise in building marriage relationships).

24. Don’t be inflexible. Look for compromise.

25. Understand you are not always right. Be willing to apologise.

26. Physically be delicate with her. Do not be physically aggressive or imposing.

27. Respect your wife’s family and encourage her to do the same.

28. Show that you are interested in what she is interested in (hobbies, pass times, etc.)

29. Don’t seek marital advice openly. If you wish to have advice, take it only from someone you trust, and is capable of advising properly.

30. Show concern for her health and do not ever put it at risk.

31. Be there for her during difficult times and be sure she knows you are there to listen to her.

32. Share your own feelings with her regularly.

33. Be tender when dealing with her weaknesses. Do not press the issue.

34. Have good intentions in your heart for your wife. Wish the best for her because her success is yours as well.

35. Speak politely and show courtesy to your wife. Open doors, help carry heavy objects, arrange for her to sit or rest when she is tired.

36. If your wife says or does something minor that you did not like, ignore it.

37. During pregnancy and during her menstruation period, be sure to be even more considerate and patient than usual.

38. Never try to impose upon her how great you are due to your education or job, etc. Do not belittle her level of education or job.

39. Don’t say or try to show that your earning income or bringing food is a favour to her. Recognise that only God is the giver.

40. Never betray your wife’s trust through words or deeds. All other women are mothers, sisters or daughters.

41. Don’t give her the opportunity to think that your love or regard for her is any less than her love and regard for you.